Monday, August 31, 2009

Confessions of a Chemist

Today i had fitar at my aunt's. To sum up the family, she is a Prof of Psychology and also a psychiatrist, her husband is a chemist, her three daughters are nuts in their unique ways. A visit to their home is never boring.

Aaaanyway, today we were talking about how their neighbors from 3 floors down were diagnosed with swine flu and currently hospitalized.. shock!! it's scary riding in an elevator you know once carried swine flu traces. i just sneezed. Rabena yostor.

So my uncle, being the chemist he is, was telling us about this remedy he 'made' (literally, in the lab) that would boost immunity to H1N1. He made it by extracting the nutrients from something-something and adding a solution of something-something to it then letting it ferment for 12 hours.

Not only had he made it, he had a container right in the fridge. It was black, smelled like drainage water mixed with licorice and henna. Awful.

He tried to get everyone to taste it. He forced some to taste it. His first victim was daughter #2's fiance. Poor guy, serves him right for being so polite. Second victim was daughter #1; this time he added some Pepsi to improve taste. When it was my turn i convinced him i'd rather catch swine flu then touch the remedy.

And now thinking about it, swine flu isn't so bad. now everyone's been saying this, but, it IS just a flu! you catch it, you stay away from people, you rest up and let your immune system fight it, and you're back at work a week later.

The way that drink looked and smelled, if it does prevent swine flu, I'm sure it can cause other traumas, at least psychological aftermath of drinking something so disgusting.

Sunday, August 30, 2009

Buy me a boat

Every few weeks i spend a good few hours online drooling over yachts i dream of one day owning. Today i think i've finally found the one, the only, the ultimate dream. In fact, i will never even think of buying something like that it is so damn expensive if i ever became rich enough to afford it.. i dont even know how to end this sentence.
They beauty is called Princess Mariana and currently floats in Sardinia. It makes me wonder who the hell is this princess Mariana, she must be unearthly to have something so beautiful in her name.
The problem with even getting on such a boat is that i would never want to get off.
I daydream of parties held on board. My close knit of 20 or so people invited to spend the week on my gorgeous yacht. We would sail and swim in the morning. We would take out the jet skis parked in the yacht's beach club deck. We would drink pretty colored drinks out of crystal glasses. We would feed on my hired master chef's delicacies. We would sunbathe on the sun deck, next to the helicopter pad and oversized jacuzzi. We would host parties on its party deck, inviting new foreign friends we've made from our various destinations. We would have the time of our lives.

dream with me, take a look


(go straight to pics, or dont; just admire)

Saturday, August 29, 2009

You can't hurry love

Time after time, music can usually better explain what's on my mind. I don't know if this is because i am not capable of finding words for what i want to say, or because lyricists and musicians are just doing an awfully good job.

Diana Ross sang, "You can't hurry love, you just got to wait, coz love don't come eeeaassy, it's a game of give and take"

Diana is older and wiser so i choose to listen to her. I think she knows what she's talking about, unlike me. no you CAN'T hurry love, you can't force it either, and chasing it will only tire you out. Don't they say that anything you chase runs away? As for forcing it, that just doesn't work now, does it? force only builds resistance or something scientific like that. the juice of my argument though is about hurrying love. Im not going to rattle on and on about Egyptian society pressures, if you read this then you're well aware of that. But at one point it gets frustrating. It's like they're forcing mating on you, not love. I am so sick and tired of "i want you to meet so-and-so" or "hey why aren't you dating so-and-so" or "i think so-and-so would be perfect for you" or even worse "i think so-and-so's son would be perfect for you" or "are you going to this or that event? so-and-so's gonna be there" LAY OFF ALREADY!!!!!

What's even more frustrating is that i have to be polite to the whiners. I'm not just talking about 50 and above year old ladies, its everyone thats pressuring. admit it. you've had pressure from your own close friends too.

back to my point.. people, you CAN'T hurry love!!! im no feminist-slowly-turning-lesbo here, i wouldn't mind at all having some special companionship. but if its not perfect i wont have it. thank you very much. and if you are reading this and thinking "What is perfect? Define perfect" thoughts, then you don't know what perfect is and i can't explain it. perfect is something you feel, its indescribable. and perfect you find, you dont seek. coz if you look for it, you'll let things slip and pass even though you'll know that thats not what you want or what you are comfortable with.

in the meantime, our lives are already full! why dont more people focus on everything else thats going on? like work for example. we are all (my age group) at a critical time in our careers. we are building what we are going to become. who in their right mind would, amidst that, take the time to go meet the so-and-so who later thinks you are very pretty and smart and wants to go out again? bullshit and waste of precious time.

my best friend uses an analogy i love: i'll have salmon and caviar or i'll starve.

even though my above text is full sentences in the negative im really saying a good thing here. WAIT for perfect, dont hurry it. if it doesnt come it doesnt come. life is too pretty and full to chase the empty half of the glass. and perfect IS out there, as long as you believe in it. the moment you lose trust in 'perfect' will be the moment you might as well forsake it.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

dreams can come true

This is the story of a dream
a dream so much bigger than it may seem
the dreamer would only imagine night and day
when realities would come into play

The dreamer young, ambitious and full of life
and lucky to have never known pain or strife

The dreamer here is a girl, needless to say
because boys suck and their dreams are gay

This girl dreamt of making it big
of making a worldwide name
of much fortune and even more fame

The problem lay in not knowing where to start
it drove her crazy and tore her head apart

She tried different things
writing for example
but on her first topic she could not trample

So that would have to wait
until inspiration came
and she could start to create

She let life take its way
fitting in some work and some play
while contently watching the days and months stray

One morning, so bright and early
she settled down write something girly

Almost unconsciously words unraveled
and across pages and pages they traveled

A lot of hard work later
she thought she had something
impressive it was, and to fame it just might cater

She searched high and low
for a publisher that would start her show
then fate had a blow
and with her newfound publisher she started to grow

a million copies then a million more
her writing was on shelves from the ceiling to the floor

the fortune came
and with it the fame
and for herself she'd finally made a name

So happy, content and proud the writer was
excitement created an all-day buzz

She dreamt a dream and she come through
because towards her goals she was always true

Watch this space for more to come
for dreams come true everyday
even if only for some

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Let the drummer kick

Probably my favorite song all year (though it's not new)
So listen and i am sure you will relate in one way or another
I love how music gives us the freedom to interpret it in our own way, so... let the drummer kick that

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

... and I want to thank you

Thank you for giving me room to err then fixing my every mistake
Thank you for teaching me something with every interaction
Thank you for staying up late waiting for me, for making me feel you are worried about my well-being
Thank you for appreciating everything I do
Thank you for showing me how to treat people
Thank you for teaching me to respond to how people treat me
Thank you for making me strong, for showing me the failure in weakness
Thank you for showing me God
Thank you for explaining God
Thank you for explaining meanings in the Quran
Thank you for tolerating by childish outbursts
Thank you for listening to my every, "I'm not complaining but..." complaints
Thank you for buying me all the pretty things I want
Thank you for trusting me, and teaching me the weight of trust
Thank you for being an excellent role model
Thank you for worrying about my future
Thank you for standing up for me behind my back
Thank you for including me in all you do
Thank you for making me part of your team
Thank you for buying me all sorts of gadgets you think I'd make use of, without me asking, showing me I'm always on your mind

Thank you for preparing me to be ready to make it on my own if I need to
Thank you for your patience
Thank you for all that I am and for all that I ever will be
Thank you for making me the most grateful daughter there ever was

spreading the sunshine

My best friend and loyal follower of this blog just asked me, "Why aren't you writing?"
I'll tell you why; I'm not writing because i have nothing positive to write about. And being the ray of sunshine i think myself to be, i try to not spread negativity. So I'm going to write about energies.

Im no expert on energies and weird karma gibberish, but i do know a few things.

I know that negative energy is contagious. I've been a victim. People who spread it are exceptionally good at doing so. How many times had we been feeling all sunshiny happy-go-lucky when we run into a Debbie Downer who glooms over our sunshine. I don't like gloom over my sunshine. It takes my sunshine away and if i don't have any sunshine i cant share any sunshine. I've overused the word but you get my point. you gotta have sunshine to share sunshine

I also know that positive energy is like someone laughing really REALLY hard; you might have no idea what they're laughing about but if you watch them laugh long enough you'll start laughing too. I cannot prove this but I'm sure that the act of laughing in itself does some good for your body. it might release happy fluid from the brain, or exercise your facial muscles enabling them to laugh easier. And the more you hang around 'happy people' the more you want to be around them the happier you become. At least that's how it works for me.

So the next time you're feeling down, keep it to yourself. Find something positive that's going on and share that instead. Even if what you're going to share is a long story of how you found your missing sock.

Monday, August 24, 2009

contracts suck

days like today make me wish i was 6 again and promises made were kept
i wish i never had to deal with contracts i hate them so much it screws up my whole day (sometimes week) when i have to review one. im no lawyer. i will swirl right around the loopholes without taking a second look. fortunately and unfortunately i have those who double check my very move.
why cant i ask a service provider for something, they promise to do it, they actually do it, i promise to pay them, and i actually pay them? wouldnt that be a whole lot easier than lingering over every word and number in a freakin' booklet?

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Meet and Greet

Today at work i met our new batch of Canadian staff: fresh in from British Columbia they are being acclimatized to Cairo via life in maadi. Today was their first day on campus, they got a glimpse of what they were here to do. Glimpse is right, the poor north americans have no idea what they're up for.
Since a lot of what i do at work is 'foreign staff affairs' i have had the chance to stare at their names and pictures thru passports and such long enough. i thought i had everyone memorized. WRONG! i mixed up the first name, mixed up two sisters (in my defense they look freakishly alike in the pics), forgot two names, thought a returning staff member was one of the newbies. So i smiled and talked a lot so i doubt anyone noticed how retarded i was feeling.
i gotta say i admire these people though. if you dont already know, Vancouver has been voted among "Best Cities to Live In" for the past ten or so years, ranking very high too (top five to ten). To leave that and come to Cairo where water heaters blow up in bathrooms is a big move. it takes guts. the taxi drivers and street crossing scares them for the first month then they get used to it. and they being to love it as much as we do. maybe not as much but, most of the time, they definitely love it

Saturday, August 22, 2009

subtle tradition

i just made atayef, after a long argument with our lady cook about how i wouldnt close the ends properly. she caved, and i made atayef :)

i love the first day of Ramadan. Who doesnt?
I love that fitar is always at home on the first day, its always been that way. i love how the place is a mess in the morning (i.e. now) but all clean and pretty right before maghreb and smelling awesome too.
i love how our driver is running around just like every year, delivering all the food my mom ordered. i love how i sneak away from all the preparation for a little bit of one-on-one with my laptop. and i can hear the chatter and laughter from the kitchen.
in a bit i start getting things in order. like i need to make sure there are enough prayer rugs and veils, and make sure no traces of my junk are left outside.
in another bit i will go out on pre-fetar errands and admire the quietness of heliopolis streets
right before maghreb my bro, his wife, and her mother will start trickling in. shortly behind them will be the sis, her husband, his parents, and a parade of energetic nephews. the nephews will insist on disney channel or boomerang and thus settle down in my parents room after fitar while we 'grown ups' watch ramadan TV
My dad will lead the prayer and i bet i know which soura he's going to read
Most of us will have 2 or so rounds of tea, someone will have perrier, someone will have coffee, someone will have diet pepsi, and one or two people will have turkish coffee. and i know exactly who will be drinking what

i love subtle tradition

fuck perfection

i wasn't planning to write now. but a googletalk conversation got me thinking. and when i think i put it on here coz i have nowhere else to put it
why do we analyze our faults? my conversation counterpart said something along the lines of knowing what annoys people of us is one step closer to perfection. i say fuck perfection if thats what perfection is
im no rebel-without-a-cause here i do care what people think. in fact sometimes i care too much but im like that
what im trying to say here is that i dont wanna be perfect to get more people to like me or to get people to like me more. i want people to like me, faults and all. and i want to like them faults and all too
fuck perfection
my best friends, the ones i love most in this world, are very far from perfect. in fact they're full of faults but i adore that
its easy to love perfect people but its not easy to love imperfect ones like you and me and everyone else

Friday, August 21, 2009

Lord give me a sign

I once read on PostSecret someone confessing that he/she didnt find comfort at church or in the Bible, but instead in found it in the music of tupac and such; so thats where they sought God.
I am not saying the same is true for me, not at all. But I AM a firm believer in seeking God where it is most comfortable. Where you can connect. Be it through the Quran, prayer, music, nature, art, etc.
I love how the simplest of things can be so deep. DMX rapping for example. i find comfort in this; take a look at the parts of the lyrics if u dont already know them

Lord Give me a Sign!
I really need to talk to you Lord
Since the last time we talked the walk has been hard
Now I know you havent left me
But I feel like I'm alone
Im a big boy now but I'm still not grown

Let me know whats on your mind
Let me know what I'm gone find
Its all the time
Show me how to teach the mind
Show me how to reach the blind
Lord give me a sign!

Show me what I gots to do
To bring me closer to you
Cuz I'm gonna go through
What ever you want me to
Just let me know what to do
Lord give me a sign!

I have never heard something that explained exactly how i felt right now. At least not in a very long time. Especially "coz im gonna go through whatever you want me to just let me know what to do"

Its so weird that im getting hooked on this right before Ramadan, but hey, its getting me to think about stuff. And you know what? i think thats what God wants us to do. Find Him in our own way. Ok maybe He doesnt want that but i doubt He minds.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

We gotta work to make it work

We love to complain about work. I had a breakthrough yesterday though: we throw ourselves into work because it gives us a break. At least i do.
For the few hours of the day i manage to put in it seems like im stepping into a different bubble. I can forget about everything else and concentrate on printing houses, healthcare paperwork, supply ordering, uniform design, and all the miscellaneous joker work i run. In fact, i was just talking to a friend last night and i said that the only time i feel good during the day is on the drive back from work. Its like having been on mind-vacation.
Getting to the point of the title of this post: work is, i believe, what enables us to efficiently function in other aspects of our lives. productivity in specific gives us fuel for life. every other problem seems small and insignificant when compared to, in my world, furniture deliveries not being made in time. traffic jams even help to release the energy after a chaotic day due to a minor mistake in accounts, even if im just swearing my ass off in the car.
i can see now why workaholics are the way they are. Mind you i'd rather be gay and transvestite than workaholic, but i understand them. They get so caught up in this mind-vacation-from-life, they enjoy the ride and don't wanna get off.
im now just thankful that i am able to get on and off the ride. those of you on your living-room sofas are missing out, and no amount of TV, hairdresser appointments, midday lunches out, or morning city stars visits will ever make up for the thrill of disconnecting from everything personal at the workplace.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Carrefour Trek

Im only blogging about this to release the frustration
Yesterday i was driving from work to maadi via the da2ery. i needed to buy at gadget from radioshack, chocos for a friend, and coffee was an appealing idea. Like the whizz i think i am i convince myself to make a 'quick stop' at Carrefour, where all three would be available. I made the fateful right turn into the Carrefour tunnel, parked, and walked in. BIG MISTAKE!
i hadn't realized that yesterday was exactly six days away from Ramadan. I wont go into Pre-Ramadan Egyptian Grocery Shopping Habits because that will take up the rest of the day to describe. This post is not to complain but to describe; and i have a lot to describe of my little trek.
i may not be a humongous lady in a 3abaya but im no midget either. to be physically pushed out of the way, meaning my legs actually leave the ground and my position shifts involuntarily, takes no easy brush up. Seriously, the women in there were pushing an and shoving others out of the way, jamming shopping carts into each other in resemblance of bumper cars, leaving merchandise all over the floor, cutting in line, shouting orders to employees, and basically acting like the friggin' jungle on parade.
cliche but it cant go without mention, EVERYONE in there needed a shower, quick.
At one point i get a phone call and my friend on the line literally goes, "where are you? a demonstration?" seriously it was that loud. To top off the screaming customers, some sort of PA system was blaring out Carrefour offers.
After a dreadfully long day i needed more than a coffee to fix the mess my Carrefour Trek created. i grabbed my frappe and my million little shopping bag and my sorry ass back to the car to maadi. i wanted to kiss the floor of my vehicle in appreciation of the space, the pleasant smell, the soothing music that replaced the blaring announcer, and the two extra meters of personal space.
Lesson to be learned from wasting your time reading this: avoid Carrefour till the fifth tuesday morning after eid.

Monday, August 17, 2009

Furtado wisdom

Nelly Furtado sang "coz this life is too short to live it just for you so when you feel powerless what are you gonna do, say what you want"
Nelly is right

Sunday, August 16, 2009

My Cairo

My Cairo is over-crowded, polluted, infuriating, humid and gorgeous. Sometimes while driving i look out to the city and wanna say "leh keda ya habebti? 7ad ye3mel fe nafso keda?"
For a while i've been caught in the argument of whether to survive alone or sink with the rest of Cairo. I chose. I want to leave. I love Cairo but i seriously dislike it. I choose to survive alone. Bring in the cliche "you only live once," and im having my once right now. I cant say i wasted 24 years of my i-dont-know-how-many in this place; these years definitely haven't been wasted. But if i've got some more time to live i want it elsewhere.
I want to go where people are clean. Where we don't get stared at for being completely ordinary. Where you don't have to be filthy rich to live a decent life. Where doctors are on time. Where service sellers actually want to help you and not just drive you away from their store. Where you can do your own legal work with no middlemen. Where food is fresh. Where maintenance service actually maintains stuff. Where you can actually clean your own place with no live-in help. Where there are outdoor escapes. Where driving doesnt infuriate the hell out of you. Where television is good. Where books are available in variety. Where not everyone is veiled. Where i am not judged for not being veiled. Where smoking is prohibited in some areas at least. Where tourist attractions are not rip off dust collections centers. Where no one is above the law. Where law enforcers arent abusive. Where parking is available, even if its paid for. Where there is not threat of the 'hunger revolution.' Where places smell good. Where water doesnt kill your hair. Where pedicures arent ruined as soon as you step outdoors. Where there's an escape from everyone you know. Where projects start and actually continue and not die out time after time. Where office supplies and suppliers are widely and easily accessible. Where contracts are respected. Where people count on more than your pity when asking for something. Where you can reach out and ask for help from someone not related to you. Where that someone actually comes through. Where people respect lines. Where cold medicine is effective. Where all lattes dont taste the same.
But my Cairo is gorgeous and i would miss it
I would miss the familiarity of the streets. I would miss the view of the newly lit up citadel on the drive back from maadi. I would miss my friendly security guard. I would miss cops asking whether im ahlaweya or not before they'd let me double park. I would miss running into your third cousin at a friend's birthday at sequoia. I would miss outsmarting the jammed 6th of october bridge by taking the tunnel. I would miss the irresistible urge to go to khan el khalili on a crowded Ramadan night. i would miss city stars. I would miss crossing the street in the middle of traffic. I would miss the newspapers. I would miss assigned seating cinemas and intermissions that cut movies in half. I would miss driving into a left turn without signaling.
But i want out
Sometimes i can be such a hypocrite, but its good coz its real

Our hopes and expectations

What are you afraid of?
I'm afraid of disappointment; it stabs you in the back when you least expect it. I'm afraid of its deceptive nature. We get disappointed over and over everyday but it's okay until it's not.