Saturday, July 31, 2010

regret

i don't believe people when they way they have no regrets. we all have regrets, or we all should anyway. When's there's talk of regret the inevitable question arises, do we more regret the things we did or the things we didn't do?
From where i stand, or sit, this summer night, i regret the things i didn't do. I regret all the options i didn't choose, all the things i didn't say, all the thanks i didn't give, all the chances i didn't give, all the stubbornness and repetition of the same belief. I regret it all.
You see, when you actually do something, there are (usually) the options between undoing it or just moving on in sort of denial or choosing to forget it was done and just walking away. The past becomes the past. And as long as you don't let it haunt you, you're more or less fine. But when you don't do something, and time passes, and you can no longer do that thing or say it or express in any shape or form. The "what if's" get to you and they crawl under your skin and you imagine so many different scenarios that your imagination becomes tired. You start to question timeliness and why things happened or didn't happen when they did. You want nothing more than a rewind button for life so you can act differently.
But its not like regret that makes you wanna kick yourself. It's more like uncertain regret. Like you think you regret something but aren't entirely sure. and you want that rewind button just so you can be sure. But there is no rewind button. Or at least i haven't found one yet.
Then you sit here, like me, wishing you had given it a chance or said something or just weren't so damn stubborn.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

apple smarts

i wish Apple made everything. Seriously, i want anything i own technology related to be branded Apple or Mac or iGadget-whatever. They're just so much easier to deal with.
I've always used the smart person/stupid person analogy to compare between everything Mac and everything PC, with Mac, undoubtedly, being the smart person.
my favorite feature of Apple is that everything is fixable. No technical problem is dead end or action irreversible. The device, whether MacBook, iPod, or the yet to be explored iPad defines the problem, if one should arise, in simple human words that the average user with half a brain can understand. Then it proceeds to fix the problem itself. Without asking you a million times if you are SURE you want to fix it. I haven't missed that about PCs at all.
Weird thing is, i tend to label everything that is not Mac as stupid PC. For example, my dead printer, even though made by the fine makers of HP is, to me, a stupid PC device. It does not tell you what the problem while simultaneously refusing to solve it. I especially hate non-Mac compatible devices. It's like they're labeling themselves "I'm with stupid."

Monday, July 26, 2010

innocent ignorance

i used to believe:

that 20th Century Fox was a real monument that was shot to place at the beginning of movies
that tom and jerry was one word
that only my house was called 'Agami' and not the whole town
that the escalator would bite off your shoes if you didn't step off in time
that my mom knew absolutely everything, just because she said she did
that if you keep the tap running too long sewer insects will start crawling out
that Michael Jackson was born white
that Cinderella was real
that i was adopted (courtesy of mean older siblings)
that summer was endless
that picking flower petals determined the outcome of major incidents
that if i slept over at my grandma's i would never come back home
that by this year in my life i would have known exactly where i was and where i was going

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

bang bang bang

"We're never gonna, believe in, the stories, that you're weavin'
We're believin' in the proof, we're believin' in the truth
We're believin' in each other, not you, you, you"

Sunday, July 11, 2010

domestication irritation

Culturally, i have been brought up to not make my bed, not wash my coffee cup, not do my own laundry, and not do any such tasks. This doesn't mean they don't get done, someone is hired to clean up after me, and all those like me. Domestic help, such a controversy.
I despise the idea of a stranger living in my home. But then again i am not going to clean up after myself. I don't stay that out of being a spoiled brat, but I'm admitting that i am not used to it, and i don't intend to start now.
Domestic help can be such a hassle though. There are so many issues involved, as i have recently learned, it is not at all as easy at it seems.
Trust is number one. You are forced to consult your gut feeling of whether or not this total stranger is 'safe' to have in your home. My imagination runs wild with stories of workers choking their employers in their sleep. I start to think about any valuables i have laying around. It becomes an annoying conspiracy theory where i am defending myself and my family from a culprit that does not exist, yet.
Looking at the other side though, i imagine how the new domestic employee might feel. A usually young, usually non-native speaker, alone in a home full of and owned by strangers. I would not switch places with her. She has no idea what is expected of her, how she should act, what the talk is about, or even where the glasses are.
It is difficult for both sides. Sometimes relationships blossom and last for years while others end within the hour. But at the beginning it is always stressful. We have been trained to feel lost and helpless without domestic help. Strangely, i have found it is a whole lot easier to work with people in the office than it is in the home.

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

coffee classes

This morning i headed to a Starbucks to grab my morning fix before heading to work. In front of me were a couple, skinny boy with a low voice, short girl in a veil and jeans too tight, who were taking forever to decide to order. I patiently waited and when they finally made their choice they were having one orange juice, in house. The nice lady employee at the cashier denied them. She insisted that one orange juice wasn't enough to grant them seats in the comfortable, spacious Starbucks branch. The girl fought with her for a while, she really wanted to sit down for a bit with her friend, eventually lost, and left with her friend and without her orange juice.
I, of course, could not shut up and had to stick my nose into it. I asked the cashier if that was true, if there was a minimum order charge for them to sit down. She said there wasn't. Then she got all worked up and told me the story that is the point of this post.
She said couples like that come in everyday, order one drink for 10-20 pounds and occupy seats for four to five hours on end. The problem with that particular branch of Starbucks is that it is open to the street. Customers can walk right in through two entrances and sit down using it as a hang out until they are asked to order or leave. What's worse than that is that they sometimes get (smelly) food like foul and taamiya from other oriental 'fast food' chains then sit down and consume them at Starbucks, stinking up the place. She told me that even when employees want to eat something from elsewhere on their break they place their food in Starbucks branded bags then go outside the premises to eat.
What struck me most was the class controversy. I have sometimes walked into the same Starbucks with a friend and we'd have just coffee and maybe a water and we were always welcome to sit wherever and for as long as we wanted to. Mind you, we'd only stay for half an hour tops. But i know that that particular couple didn't look like the social class that was welcomed at Starbucks and similar venues. It is on the one had, unfair, but on the otehr hand, they are not welcome because they do not respect the place.
These chains are open here for a reason: to make money. Whether a whole ton or just enough to stay open, their sole purpose is money. They import coffee, furnish the place in specific branding, pay a whole lot of rental of prime locations, train their staff, and keep with place in shape with high maintenance all to make money. They want customers in, coffees and food ordered, customers out, and repeat. They don't the sappy couple that will come in abuse their nice seats all for the price of an orange juice or the re-sale of a non-Starbucks branded bottle of water.
I had sympathy for the couple who were turned away and denied seats but then again i had sympathy for the employees forced to nicely turn people away because their attitude behavior harms the franchise.
And in my anti-communist, disbelieving-in-fairness-to-all mind, the franchise wins every time.

Saturday, July 3, 2010

birthday glitter

I only dedicate posts to very special people. and this post is dedicated to this week's birthday girl. She's not only special because we go way back and we've been friends since math homework was our greatest fear, but she's special just because she is.
She is my only artist friend. She lets talent flow, she is never doing nothing. But that's still not why she's special
She's special coz she's an amazing motivator, a breath of fresh air, and upbeat rhythm that only sees the good in everything. She's and inspiration and the way she talks to motivate you makes you wanna get off your ass and do something fascinating with your life.
I've titled the post glitter because that's what my friend is, she's glitter. She's real glitter, she makes everything glow and be more exciting. We can take a lame joke and turn it into the joyfest of the month. She laughs and spreads laughter.
She makes you see the best in yourself. She explicitly notices the good in you that you didn't even know was in you.
Before i turned into the blogger that i am, it was her that pushed me to do it. She told me i have great ideas and a way with words and i need to be doing something with it. She got on the phone and told me to blog. We started our blogs together and have been each other's loyal audience. She is probably the only person to believe that i will someday be published. She is one of those who believes in energies, not because its the fad now, but she really believes in them. and her own energy is very positive.
On her birthday i was her so many things, but most of all, i wish her karma. She spreads good and joy and should only get the same in return.