no one likes anything

Sometimes you try really hard to be cheerful, to have a good time, to see the best in everything. But most of these times there will be those who oppose you, bring you down and prove you wrong. You will struggle and put up a thousand fights and win them all, but then one small comment or gesture tears that all apart.

I am sick of this. We say in Arabic, "no one likes anything." Words couldn't be wiser than those. No matter what you do, someone will find some way to oppose it.

When people do bring you down, they do not think for one second about how much effort you're putting into everything. And how slowly your soul is getting drained trying to keep up with it all. They do not regard how their minor gesture will shake your well-being. I am sick of it all.

These people expedite your arrival at the conclusion that no matter what you do, you will never be good enough. So why don't we just stop doing? It'll be much easier for everyone. But we'd have turned hard, emotionless. But screw emotion. How far has it brought us? Is that really what they want me to be? Because i have no problem with it. But don't blame me later.

My mind is literally burning and aching here. I feel sorry that i have no where to put it except on this blog.

Have your ever felt like you didn't want to talk about anything? you don't want to explain yourself, you don't want to explain what's wrong. Sometimes i feel that it's much easier to be happy. Because getting upset means addressing all these issues that are upsetting you, and i don't want to do that. I am sick of making choices. I am sick of it all.

How can we be laughing one minute then someone gets you crying? I hate to cry. It hurts everywhere. It hurts in your heart and it stings your eyes. And the thing is, i have no idea what i am doing wrong. I feel as if im being constantly blamed for the actions of others. That is why i don't wish to associate myself with anyone anymore. I just want to be me, judged for my own actions and convictions; i can defend my own but no one else's. I don't want to defend anyone else's. There is no value to defense when everyone I've ever defended has let me down.