Tales of Singledom, Chapter 57

There's a someone for everyone, isn't there?

I was asked a very tough question today, what do i want? i was asked by more than one person, so i decided its definitely a question worth answering. I thought hard and came up with short but precise answers. I want someone thats mine. That's it. Someone who's fills up my head with good and bad thoughts and wonders and conversation reminisces and what if scenarios and where he is now and whether he'd like this or that.

Thinking about all this i was led to think about what i don't want. And why im single. And here are the reasons, personified. Let's go through all the guys that have ever been of remote involvement in my single life. Take it as a review, a look back on failures, or plain whiny noise from a perfectly healthy 24 year who (almost) has it all. It's a pretty short list so don't get excited.

1. The best friend who got to close: no explanation necessary as "best" and "friend" usually don't go well together. Also, i was very young and naive and more optimistic than ever. Now married.

2. The fantasy, who could've been mine given we were in a different place, as different people, and maybe i would've been a bit older. This is one was simplicity of perfection personified. Something that's so easy and comfortable yet fantastical all at the same time. Also now married

3. The weird duckling: seriously there's nothing to say about this one other than he was a useless occupation of airspace. The type that woke up to go to work two hours early to do nothing; i don't even know if there is such a type or if he was the only freak like that. don't get the wrong idea, this was one of the ones forced upon me.

4. The right guy at the wrong time: a clone of what i want. but i'll have to look for elsewhere; slightly unsure commitment-phobic sort of. Maybe in some other lifetime.

5. The great-for-one-night guy: who was so great then suddenly an inactive bore. This one was the right age, the right looks, the right friends, but very much the wrong person. Let's just say i dislike boring people and will exert no effort in attempt to liven them up.

6. The get-me-married freak. The one guy i ever met who's the exact opposite of a commitment phobic, who wanted to get married so fast you makes you run in the arms of singledom and refuse to let it up. there's so much to write about this one but i do still have minimal respect for privacy and would rather not diss anyone on the internet.

7. Finally, the big finale. The most recent in a short line, and the biggest surprise of all. He was perfect. Young, healthy, gorgeous, successful, good to talk to, funny, smart, insightful, gentleman, responsible, religious, well dressed, unique in his interests, which was a good break from the usuals we see. He's the kind to remember what exam you had and called later to ask how you did. The kind that was always more interested in your story than his (which is great for a self-centered chatterbox like myself). He was also the kind to make you feel pretty, and compliment both your looks and your brains. moving on, he was cultured. Flag: im pretty sure he's gay.

There you have it, the last one says it all. Perfect guys are, if not committed, gay.

No that's not true but now, tonight, that's what it seems like. It seems like im looking for something almost too easy to be found, that it has become rare. Im looking for someone to make me happy, just plain happy. Someone to make me smile that irresistible smile which my best friend's mom points out in two seconds and asks who im seeing.