dread

i would say that among the top ten, or twenty, worst feelings is dread. Especially when it is something you have to say or do and you know exactly what your words or actions will result in and what you'll have to do to fix it and how hard and exhausting it is all going to be. And it is really bad when you know there's no way around it and no one else to make carry the blame, no scapegoat but yourself.

It's those couple of hours before a meeting, a confession or a confrontation. It's the queasy feelings of the insides and the tension that builds up in the nerves. It's wanting a bad thing to happen just so it could pass and be history.

It's finding the exact words to sugarcoat then finding their opposites to give it straight. It's the mental struggle to use a carrot or a stick. It's the good cop/bad cop role played at the same time. It is the compassion you feel but the firmness you display.

It is all of that compressed into one short meeting, sit down, and then it passes. And the relief felt afterwords puts you on a high.

I would say, start every work day with a bad meeting, so when it's over, you get to have a great working day. Because everything else is good once the dread is gone and you can breathe.