the hardest goodbyes

As we grow up we learn to say goodbye. Sometimes it hurts and sometimes we're indifferent. and other times we're kind of glad to be saying it. we say goodbye to people when they die, when they leave, or when we leave. we say goodbye to places wishing some good riddance and praying to come back to others.

I think i can confidently say the hardest goodbyes are those we bid to our dreams.

It hurts so bad when you admit that you can't be what you want to be, just because you can't. It is not something that is possible or ever will be. Its hurt is almost physical and it drains you. It makes you tired when you shouldn't be. It makes you want to sleep and turn off all the lights. It makes you not see the point of so many little things that were so recently entertaining. It makes you dislike yourself and your twisted little brain for ever having those dreams in the first place.

I'm lucky to be an optimistic dreamer, and i know sooner or later i'll live for bigger and better dreams.

but then i'll always be scared of the goodbye. because once you've experienced it you never want to go back. every dream reminds you of the failure of the one before. every time you decide to believe in something, that lost dream is recalled, and you remember why not to believe.

and i know exactly why i don't believe in some things. because they have never failed to let me down. i don't believe in certain dreams because they are such a teaser to my naivety, i lose every single fucking time.

I hate to be sad but i can't help but be just that. i hate to be sad on this blog but i need to blurt things out so i can move on and be happy, because that's the only thing i like to be.

As always, when words fail music is my mouthpiece. Give a listen to Rascal Flatts' Here Comes Goodbye