more loving homes

I kept two little pet turtles. When i first got them they were my new toy that i showed around to everyone and beamed while their cuteness was admired. I felt responsible as i cleaned out their water and gave them food and watched them swim around. They were alive and healthy because of what i did to preserve their life life and health.

After days weeks then months of the little caregiver act it started to be a drag. Then it became a hated chore. Then i didn't care much whether they live or die; so then i felt guilty. I started looking for a new home for them and i found one. Today They went to their new home. I hope the new caregivers don't find them as boring, messy, or hassling as i did.

As i sit here without them for the first time in so long, i start to think. and when i think i write.

There are things you can only care for for so long. There is a threshold to our worry, and once you reach that threshold you can worry no longer. you don't want to worry any longer. We grow up and we change and our needs and interests change. We don't always want to care for or expect care from the same things; or the same people.

I don't mean to sound so resigning. Our needs don't end, they change. For better or for worse, our needs are constantly changing. Then they change back or they don't.

Like, i might want those turtles back at some point, or i might not. But if the turtles want me they will always have a home right here.