metaphorical wake up calls make you want to drive your car alone and listen to every meaningful song you've ever applied to your own life. and i've got lots of those, too many for my own emotional well-being.
This morning's song was green day's 21 guns. "Lay down your arms, give up the fight"
I listen and i think to myself, "what fight?" You know how sometimes you think you're part of some huge fight, where everyone involved is struggling for something different. Then the fight ends and you neither win or lose. but it ends when you realize you're the only one left in it. you're the only one still struggling. and you realize that for so long, the struggle has been of the internal kind. a sick internal struggle.
if you're me, you go back to what you are used to. you go back to building walls and having your own little party inside. The walls are safe, they're peaceful inside. There's nothing to disrupt the pursue of your plans. You can work on your career and give it a hundred percent of your focus. when you allow your walls to be broken down and you have to build them back up, the building back up part becomes easier every time. like an automatic garage door. you can literally press a button, or have someone press it for you, and a wall goes up around your mind and your emotion. That is, of course, if you are me. which you are not.
No comments:
Post a Comment