c'est la freakin' vie

the title of this post was my status on one of the too many gadgets/electronic vents i use. friends who saw it were asking what's wrong? nothing is wrong. but i did have one of my frequent breakthroughs regarding life, our life, and what we're doing to it and what it is doing to us

and the only thing that comes to mind is "c'est la freakin' vie"

recently, death hit close to home, not quite my home but close enough. I wrote about that already so this isn't an encore. except that today, once again, death has hit close. it's not so much the pain this time, it's the realization that we're all bound to get there. That sooner or later one of those hits will be at home. so c'est la freakin' vie

we do things for people and expect that they would do the same for us in return. then the tables turn and its time for them to live up to our expectations and they don't. and we get disappointed and mad and upset and even more mad then we cool off. then they ask for something again. and we do it, knowing that when it's their turn, they won't come through. but we still do what they ask for and i don't know why. we feel cheated and abused. we feel disgusted at ourselves for letting ourselves get cheated and abused. but c'est la freakin' vie

sometimes you find something that makes you really happy. and you promise to using it only for your happiness, harming no one else, stepping away if you're about to do harm. not talking about it not complaining not expecting, not wanting, not doing anything. just enjoying. but life takes away that privilege. you are not left in peace to like what you like and do what you do because life gets in the way. and you can't help but wonder why and question if you really deserve what you want to do, and when you realize you do deserve it, you can only think c'est la freakin' vie

sometimes you have problems at work, but c'est la freakin' vie

sometimes you have a killer headache that won't go away for days, but c'est la freakin' vie

sometimes you are just bothered with everyone asking for so much and expecting so much out of you. they expect, expect, then expect some more and you have to stretch yourself to make them all happy, or in most cases just satisfied, and in some cases unsatisfied. and guess what? c'est la freakin' vie aussi

So if you read this and can relate, it might be comforting to know we're all in this together. or it might not, i don't know i just write because i need to vent. We're all uncomfortable in some way or another and sometimes in many ways and others. but this too shall pass, shall it not? i like to read up on inspirational bullshit and one i can particularly relate to this is "when life gives you lemons, make orange juice and leave life wondering how the hell you did it"