conversation starts with me bitching about something or another, all work related, and sounding like an over-experienced, over-exposed, and slightly bitter male over 40.
Coworker: personal question, are you single?
pause
Me: are you asking because I'm harsh?
Coworker: no no I'm just asking
Me: Yeah i am
Coworker: Why?
another pause
Me: because i haven't found a reason to not be single. i know exactly what i want and i haven't found it yet. being with someone means sacrificing a lot and i don't know how much I'm ready to sacrifice and if whoever it will be is worth it (insert some babbling i forgot here). i have dreams, i know where i want to go and i barely have time to do what i need to do to get there; i can't fit anyone or anything else in.
now the rest of this i didn't say then and there but I'm saying it now. Im single because i think I'm still young enough to be picky. and i'll always be too ambitious to let social pressure drive me to do something that i don't absolutely want to do, or be with someone i don't absolutely want to be with. I am lucky enough to have almost zero experience, and its a good thing for i am unscarred and unspoiled. Throwing that away just because someone is pressuring me is the stupidest thing in the world, for lack of more fitting words.
I haven't found someone perfect. Once or twice i thought i had, but we grow and we learn. We learn to appreciate what we have and to appreciate what we don't have. My best friend was just telling me "we're growing beautifully" and i completely agree. I am single because i haven't found that someone to make this interruption to my ambition and insistence on perfection worthwhile. I am single because i haven't been swept off my feet yet. I am single because everything so far has been a lousy disappointment. I am single because I'm not willing to waste any more precious time. I am too busy to waste time. Therefore, i am not single, I'm busy.
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