Im going to write a letter
Dear You,
It's been so long. SO long. Seriously i don't even remember much about you. not true, i remember a lot about you i just don't remember a lot about how we used to be. you were out of my life for good. you moved on with yours and i hung there for a while but a long time ago i moved on too and i've had a blast. Of course there had been the occasional phone call, greeting, or even chance encounter. It's all been pleasant. Im sorry i didn't go to your wedding. I really am, i wanted to go but i chickened out. Everything was fine. but then you added me on facebook a few weeks ago. i don't like seeing you online, i always see you online. It's not that i don't like you you know i do.
It's because you remind me of my failures. You remind me of my every fault. You remind me of how much i am able to give, and receive nothing in return. If anything i should have learned from you. I didn't. It's been so hard not to same the same mistake again. I slipped once, i fell for someone. But it was only once and its not happening again. i swear on my own life it's not happening again. You planted an idea in my head years ago that if i was gonna be with anyone it would be perfect or nothing at all. i still choose nothing at all. every single guy i meet my mind alerts to that mistake. I let many things pass because i was scared. You know how they say that guys are like trains, you miss one and another comes after five minutes? I've been missing all the trains.
Im not complaining here, i can say with confidence that i do come close to having it all. close, but not there yet. But i did fail once, then twice. and YOU remind me of that. I hate myself for being weak and i've vowed to change, and it really is happening.
Sincerely,
Me
No comments:
Post a Comment