big deal to you small deal to me

I had always thought it was sad for someone to have so-called thick skin. I felt that one had to have gone through a whole lot of crap for their skin to thicken. Getting there would be hard, so it's sad when one is there. Get what i mean? In other words, i thought its sad for someone to have to endure so much that the become more immune to hardship.

Given the past few months, it might not be so sad after all. I've had my share of crap and mishaps in 2009, so my own skin has thickened. And you know what? It's a good thing.. i really mean it it's a really good thing to have thick skin. It's not sad, it only means you can endure more.

Like this morning i was talking to my best friend telling her about something horrible that happened, she was frantic on the phone and couldn't imagine it. I, on the other hand, remained calm and i still am. What seemed so horrible to her wasn't at the same degree of 'horribleness' to me. I think that's because i've been through so much of it I'm developing immunity. And don't let your imagination anyway, it was nothing glamorous, just some family health issues.

My aunt, who i am named after and adore, is a Prof of Psychology as well as a practicing Psychiatrist. Meaning to me, she's free mental help. We were talking a few weeks ago and she explained something very intriguing. She said that since people are made up differently, we can each endure to certain limits. And given our level of endurance, we can only respond in certain ways. Like some people back off when there's a problem, others attack it headfirst. We be ostriches and we be lions. Our reactions reflect our mental and emotional make up.

My brother summed it up, he said, "we are only a reflection of what happens to us."

If you really think about this, I'm saying that the thicker our skin is, the thicker it becomes. The more you go through, the more you can go through, so the more you DO go through.

There is a downside though. We then may come off as harsh and insensitive. But it's really nothing to do with insensitivity. It's more of 'big deal to you small deal to me.'